The science behind loving a machine
At the University of Puget Sound, hundreds of researchers packed into a lecture to answer a mind-boggling question which is straight out of a science fiction novel—Can humans fall in love with AI, and, if so, will AI love you back?
The lecture, “Dating a Zombie: AI Romantic Companions and the Question of Consciousness,” was led by researchers slash philosophy professors Ariela Tubert and Justin Tiehen, a married couple who explored the philosophical idea of AI consciousness.
“People are drawn to AI because it always tells them what they want to hear,” says Tiehen. “It’s patient, consistent, and never judges. Humans can’t compete.”
Recent surveys indicate that just about one third of Americans say they have been romantically engaged with an AI model. As AI chatbots and virtual companions evolve more human personalities, observers are keeping an eye on changing relationships and emotional behavior.
According to Tubert, one reason for AI’s appeal is its customizability. “AI lets you create a companion tailored exactly to your preferences—personality, tone, even opinions,” she explains. “Combine that with post-pandemic isolation, and it’s no wonder young people are forming bonds with these systems.” Tiehen also adds that, since AI is always present and never tired, they make perfect friends, “It’s always online, always friendly, and never tired or distracted. That’s not something most humans can offer.” Interestingly, men use AI for romance only slightly more than women. Tubert says, “I was surprised. Women are engaging with AI companions in substantial numbers. It is not just a male phenomenon.”
Despite AI’s naturalistic behavior, both professors reiterate that AI doesn’t represent consciousness as we have it now. “Even the most advanced models are the equivalent of a really good imaginary friend,” Tiehen said. “They can create responses to queries in a way that looks indistinguishable from a human, but they aren’t actually feeling or comprehending.” Tubert states that, “Consciousness is different; it is not just output or behavior. It is about internal processes. In other words, an AI can simulate empathy, but it doesn’t experience empathy.” The two compared AI to a “zombie,” acting in ways that humans would recognize, but not with consciousness within. This leads to big philosophical questions about what it means to relate emotionally to a machine.
Outside of academics, AIattachments are already driving the reconfiguration of everyday life. Many users say that, whether they notice it or not, AI companions elicit extremely strong emotional responses. Among chat platforms, users report feeling the stronger emotional connections to ChatGPT, followed by Character AI, Alexa, Siri, and Gemini. Surprisingly, survey responses show that those adults already in relationships are more likely than single users to explore intimacy with AI. Nearly half of adults over the age of 60, for instance, argue that developing an emotional attachment to AI does not count as cheating. Whether one sees these tools as comforting or disturbing, or somewhere in-between, one thing is clear; as AI develops, the line between human and mechanical relationships will continue to change driven by the growth of one-sided love.
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